A Latina’s hysterically/awkwardly/painfully personal narrative as a devout spinster/ accidental cougar/globetrotting glamorous goddess/badass (mis)adventuress detailing her journey through womanhood, tackling women’s issues such as reproductive health (from first gyno exam to hysterectomy), New World dating (the Internet makes men social retards/I get targeted by adolescents and convelescents) and born-again virginity (extended celibacy despite high libido), baffling the masses by defying stereotypes (“Why have you never married? You’re so beautiful!”), with a yummy sprinkling of celebrity nanny anecdotes, mental illness, and fucked-up family!
A traumatizing relationship disaster that makes Katrina look like April showers compels her to check herself into Romance Rehab. She goes from Dating Detox, a self-imposed years-long celibacy-based healing journey, to getting her brains fucked out by a gorgeous 21-year-old.