Review by anonymous
June 27, 2017What I liked
The flashlight cat.
What I didn't like
Stop telling how good of a writer our lead is. Give your females something to do that isn’t being amazed at how awesome and inspiring the lead is. Use an actual script for the prop of the script (I know it’s supposed to be super long, and I know you thought “a phone book has a lot of pages in it, we’ll just get a phonebook and put a cover on it!” but don’t use a local yellow pages that is about an inch thick that I can see ads for plumbers when you open it, if you collected the scripts of all of those actors, and bound those, that would have done the trick. Don’t have your lead get naked (look I love nudity and naked people a lot, but the nudity must be motivated by story). And don’t have the guy get naked every time he sees his mom. C’mon. Why didn’t the brothers go home? Why didn’t you write all of the brothers to live in the same town, and eliminate the need for a travel plot point? And most importantly, the core conflict of this play is about a fictional scenario of an incestuous three way. Is everybody forgetting that it fiction? I have written plays where people kill each other and rape each other. Nobody has ever thought I was a killer or a rapist because of my fiction writing. What a crazy thing to make a conflict point. Why so many cats in underwear? Fuck. Why any of this? Not to mention the stilted dialogue and the male-ego fantasy writing style of a 10th grader. This might genuinely be the worst play I have ever seen and I’ve seen a lot of plays. Including plays written and performed by school children. This tops them all.
My overall impression
When the play started and there was a missed piece of direction (the lead actor ripped a sign off of a wall without discovering it was there or feeling anything about it), I made a mental note to tell the director when the play was over so that he could fix it. I thought that would be a nice thing to do, give some constructive feedback. Some notes. After ten minutes, I couldn’t keep all the notes in my head. After fifteen minutes I gave up on individual notes and I have summed it up in one note: start over.
Burn this script and start over.
